Loneliness - a positive or a negative

Just because you are on the path alone, it doesn't mean you are lonely.

Today's life is busy. There's no denying that. There is hustle and bustle in every part of our lives as we strive to earn a living and keep up with family and friends. Lately, I've been wondering about the quality of the connection with family and friends during the busy times of our lives. When we are connected we feel some part of us deep inside is receiving some quality attention and this enhances our wellbeing. If we aren't receiving that deep connection we can feel cut off and lonely.

I've spoken to a lot of people recently who say they are lonely for all kinds of reasons. Loneliness is a common thread weaving through our society. It's okay to feel lonely. It's a human emotion. It means we need companionship and connection with others in a meaningful way. Where the problem occurs is when we don't acknowledge we are lonely and don't do anything about it to connect with others. Sometimes the time isn't right to connect with others I hear you say. That's a fair comment, but are you going to wallow in your self pity or can you turn your lonely energy to doing something productive?

Perhaps you need the time to be alone to rest, to think and to hear the guiding voice inside of you. Be kind to yourself and take time out and just be for a while, and listen to the world around you instead of being in a state of activity. Sometimes this is all we need.

It's how we deal with loneliness that makes the difference at the end of the day. When I feel lonely, and I have many times throughout my life, I choose to acknowledge I am lonely. When I accept my loneliness, my mind begins to work toward changing my thoughts. I ask myself what is the best way I can spend my time at this moment. This question changes my thoughts to a positive outlook to the future. Before long I am engaged in a project that piques my interest and my loneliness disappears. The more I practise this change in mindset, the easier it is for me to move from my lonely state to productive activity.

So next time you are feeling lonely, first seek someone to connect with. If you can't find someone to connect with, accept your loneliness and look for a positive way to fill your time. Remember that hobby you never can find time to work on? How about taking time out now to work on it.

Let me know in the comments section below what activities you participate in to overcome your loneliness. I enjoy writing, coloring in, jigsaw puzzles, sewing, reading and walking and basking in the wonder of nature.

Welcome to the new Laura O'Connell website

Laura O'Connell

A lot has been happening in my life during the past three years. I have neglected my writing as I've dealt with life. As the saying goes, 'life gets in the way'. I have been on a journey of self-discovery, however I have survived and I hope I can serve you in a new and exciting way. I intend to share some of this journey with you during my blog posts, both on a professional and a personal level.

My neighbour, Kim, is an incredible lady who has impacted me and challenged to me think about where I fit in the world. She has given me unconditional love and encouraged me to be all that I am. I went through a stage where I was blocked creatively. No matter which way I turned I couldn't see the next path. I returned to accounting to see if I was meant to go back there but the door closed tightly after sixteen months. I needed to return to the tax world to allow the healing to begin.

The past few months I have been writing, writing and writing some more at a deep and intense level. I learned a lot about myself during this process. I will share about this experience in subsequent posts.

The good news is that I am still writing and I have taken it in a new direction.

African hearts is going to become a series. A new edition has just been released and is available in all good book stores. If you can't find it in a book store it is available on this website or in ebook format.  I am writing the second book in the series at the moment and it is wonderful to have Justin and Kizza back with me as they face the many challenges that university brings. There are a few surprises in this novel as Justin and Kizza interact with their new friends and a special person who impacts their life challenging them to think about their futures.

You may not know Laura O'Connell is my pen name. I've written a  nonfiction book and published articles under my real name, but the time has come for me to also share that part of me with you. During the coming months I will be launching that new, exciting project. Watch this space for more information.

Meanwhile, I will continue the African hearts series. Thank you for being part of my creative journey.

I'd love to hear from you, so please leave a comment below.

Gold Coast Writers Writing Competition

Gold Coast Writers' Association

On Sunday, 14 June 2015, the 2015 Writing Competition was launched at the Gold Coast Writers Association's 25th Anniversary Literary Luncheon.

ADULT COMPETITION

If you are a writer wanting to be published by a traditional publisher, this is an opportunity to by-pass the slush pile and get your work in front of a traditional publisher.

Editor, Annette Barlow of Allen & Unwin is the final judge for the fiction first prize.

Editor, Libby Turner of Pan Macmillan is the final judge for the nonfiction first prize.

Second prize is a line edit and proof read from AS Editing & Proofreading for both fiction and nonfiction genres.

The competition is open to all writers over eighteen years of age within Australia and internationally. Entry fee is $30. Closing date is 30 August 2015.

For the competition guidelines and other important information click here: http://www.goldcoastwriters.org/competitions-gcwa/

CHILDREN'S COMPETITION

Two prizes will be awarded in the short story competition for ages 7 - 10 years and 11 - 13 years. A prize of $50 will be awarded to each of the first place-getters in each age group.

The theme is open and entry is free. Closing date is 15 September 2015.

For the competition guidelines and other important information click here:

http://www.goldcoastwriters.org/competitions-gcwa/

Sharpen your pens and/or flex your fingers and get writing.

These are opportunities don't come very often.

Happy writing and best of luck!

ANZAC - Lest we forget

Lest we forget.

It is 100 years since the ANZACS stepped ashore at Gallipoli. I've been watching movies and real life videos set in and of that time. What astounded me beyond belief was the hand to hand combat that our men faced during that battle. It cannot have been easy for the soldiers to climb out of those trenches and come face to face with the enemy with only a rifle with a bayonet sticking out of the end of it. Their bravery and their dedication to serving their country is extraordinary. The ANZACS paid the ultimate price and since then others, too, have lost their lives serving on foreign shores.

Our Australian soldiers are second to none. They are brave, well-trained and are ready and willing to leave our shores at a moment's notice aware they may never see Australian soil again. I am proud of our soldiers. We will remember them always. Lest we forget.

I want to be a writer...

The last few weeks have been interesting. A few people have come to ask me how to start writing. I get excited when people say they want to write. Writing is so much a part of my life now. I need to write as much as I need to breathe.

The people who approached me were genuine in their curiosity about the craft. My first thoughts were that they were expecting a full-blown description of a magical formula on how to write. There is no formula. If you want to write, you just write. Pick up a pen, select some paper and just start writing words, one after the other, as they come into your mind. You are writing. It is that easy. When I saw furrowed brows I realised something wasn't connecting. They had obviously started writing and it wasn't working for them in some way. After further discussion what they really wanted to know was what do they write about. This is a fair thought. You want to write something interesting and inspiring for your reader.

                 My daily notebook

I believe there are two questions that must first be answered. Are you writing for yourself? Are you writing for publication?

If you are writing for you, the task is easier. Some people write because they want to explore their minds and their hearts as a thinker. Others write to record their life journey and try to make sense of what has happened and where they want to go for the future. Both of these approaches to writing are therapeutic, and so is writing for publication. When you share your work with readers, reactions will vary. Some will resonate with your words, others will reject the work. What's important is that this is how you see the world and no one else can see the same world as you. It is the differences that make the writing life so interesting.

If you are writing for publication, your approach to writing will be different, although the process may be similar. You still have to put one word after the other on paper or screen. It is so easy to publish your own work these days. The common denominator though is the quality of the work. You don't want work out there that is of a low standard. More about this in a later post.

The important thing is to pick up a pen and place it on the paper, or sit at the key board and start forming words from your thoughts and don't stop moving the pen or your fingers until you have words on the page or screen. They may not be good words. It doesn't matter. Editing will come later. Get those raw thoughts down and then shape them into what you want to say. In "Writing Down The Bones", Natalie Goldberg gives great ideas on how to do this and additional exercises in writing practice to help you let go of your inhibitions about writing.

After a major change in my life, I adapted Natalie's method to my own and have been writing this way for the past three years. This new method of writing has opened up my heart and mind in ways I'd never dreamed possible. Be prepared for times when your pen will be flying across the page and other times your pen will slow and eventually stop. No matter how hard you try you can't move on. Natalie Goldberg says to just keep writing even if you only write: 'I don't know what to write' until you break through. It works for me. Many of my notebooks are filled with that sentence resulting in long days at the keyboard. I have a theory on this which will be revealed in my new website that is currently under development and will be live in a few months. I am working on it with an inspirational team of developers who are putting my new ideas together. It will be interactive, including fun things to download.

I have been through some dark years where I have pulled back from the world to discover who I really am and heal those areas of me that needed some attention. I want to share the lessons I learned and I hope to encourage you on your journey, too. So for whatever reason you want to write, take up your favourite pen, and a notebook (it doesn't have to be anything fancy) and get started. I use an A4 spiral notebook and have done so for several years. I started using these notebooks after filling all the lovely notebooks friends have given me as special gifts over the years.

So, get started...now, and have fun. Leave me a message to let me know how you're progressing.